1. I used to be really happy about life. Like, really happy. Until I got bullied when I was in the fifth grade.
2. I had my first boyfriend when I was 13 and on the sixth grade. He was the ex boyfriend of my ex bestfriend. Though, we weren’t bestfriends since 5th grade, which is a year before I started dating her ex.
3. I regret number 2. I realized I was too young for it.
4. I had my second boyfriend when I was in the first year of highschool. He was my bestfriend and we broke up two weeks after because I got scared that my mom will find out and she’ll hurt him.
5. I regret number 4 too, cause I lost my bestfriend. He talked to me days before he went to America telling me he has forgiven me for breaking his heart.
6. I had my MU (mutual understanding - ya know, when you love/like each other but not officially togehter) when I was in the second year. My mom found out and thought being in that kind of relationship is like being a slut. She slapped the guy because he used “I was bored” for a reason for writing me letters.
7. ^ She battered me because of it and I had to go to school with many bruises the next day. Nevertheless, I love her and we’re okay now.
8. I became a kpop addict before the fourth year of highschool. I admired no ordinary guy and only BIGBANG. :)
9. I met my first love at the University of Santo Tomas when I was in my first year in college.
10. He broke my heart by taking advantage of my feelings then telling me what he was feeling wasn’t enough.
11. I am never attractive enough.
12. I lost my self confidence and self esteem after that.
13. I am now a completely changed girl, I turned into someone I never wanted to become.
14. I hate myself.
15. I am an emotional wreck. No wonder no one would like me.
16. Though they say I’m pretty. I’m just not pretty enough for anyone.
17. I like someone new now but I guess I’m just not his type.
18. I still love my first love but I’m trying to move on.
19. I drink a lot now.
20. I am wrecked. And I badly need help.
Have you ever passed by someone you used to be super close with by now you can’t even look at each other on the eye? Whenever you see them, you remember how much time you spent with each other and how much you love them? But now, you can’t even talk to them. It’s like an automatic rule that you have to follow.
Does it happen to be a boy you loved dearly?
A boy you gave so much effort on?
You loved him very much and at some point in your relationship with him, whether it’s official or unofficial or even unrequited, you both decided that it’s not really gonna work out between the both of you. You both faded away and actually, you were the one who was hurt.
Maybe it was because it didn’t mean anything to him or it was just a phase or some kind of a infatuation for him. What I’m saying is, between the both of you, you loved more. And that’s why you’re the one who was hurt. More, that is.
And every single day, you fight the urge to approach him and talk to him.. Just for a simple reason, you miss him and guess what? You still love him. And actually, you know it’ll take long to get over him, to get over everything… But you can’t do anything about it anymore. It was over, your forever was already done and expired.
At one point in your life, you know you have to be ready to see him with another girl. A girl he will really love. They would hold hands, kiss, hug, and the most painful sight? You’ll see him smiling at her like she’s the only thing he has in the world. No, no, don’t get it wrong, you want him happy.You really do. You want him happy, just not now, maybe in time… Or at least not see him happy. Knowing it will be enough.
It was very painful and the feeling is depressing but you can’t do anything about it, right? All you can do is suck it up and keep your feelings to yourself.
Have you ever felt that? Felt like dying, right?
Read only the purple letters, then only the blue parenthesis, then all together. Coming soon on etsy
140903 G-Dragon at J.ESTINA F/W Brand Presentation
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Translated by: @ShrimpLJY
I’ve been reading articles for the past 5 hours. And I came across an article which talked about letting go and moving on. It mentioned something about writing down your emotions so I guess that’s why I’m doing this.
Well, it is not an easy task. Like they said, easy to say, hard to do. Because it really is damn hard. Even if you really want to move on, you can’t really force yourself.
Well, I’ve been in love with bliss for a long time now and it’s been 5 months since he walked out of my life. And funny how it seems that’s it’s still him. I still love him and I’m still damn crazy about him. I can’t even do anything about it.
I mean, what does he have that made me this crazy about him? He was not even my type but I fell for him anyway, didn’t I? And it was just that easy for him to walk out of my life. Damn it was painful. I cried, of course. And he was the first man I ever cried for (except for family members)
I used to call him my bliss because whenever I’m with him, I feel complete happiness. I forget everything else including the fact that it was an unrequited love. He said he’ll try and will give us a chance. He started asking me for dinner outs… Until something really deep happened. We talked about us, he told me he wasn’t ready to go in a relationship with me and he realized that when he saw his ex. He said he still felt the pain… Wasn’t he even considering the pain I was feeling? After that moment, he ignored me for days and I asked him what was wrong, he told me he was only busy. Right.
I felt him slipping away. I know he never told me he loves me but I still thought he did. How can kiss someone you don’t? Well, is that what I get for living in this generation? The generation where you can just kiss someone who likes you? Well, fuck that.
After all the bullshit, I’m still fucking in love with him and I don’t know when will this end. It took a moment to fall inlove and an eternity to move on. Damn, that was unfair. It’s also unfair that I’m the only one suffering but guess that? I want him happy. I just wished I was his happiness.
I used to call him my bliss but how come he became the opposite if it’s meaning. Damn.
I love you, bliss. I still do. But I still fucking wish that my feelings would just fade away just like you did.
LOLL!!! OMG SEUNGRI! hahahaha.
Seungri is selling out his hyung. lololol
I laughed too much in this thing xD